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Who Is Mr.J? Well…Meet Mr.J!

Who Is Mr.J? Well…Meet Mr.J!

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, So As A Writer, I Avoid Photos-It'll Put Me Outa Biz

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Meet Mr. J, a mouth-breathing-barbaric-lousy-writer so self involved that he failed Astronomy 101 because he literally thought the world revolved around him. Someone once stole his identity but it was quickly returned . . . along with several others to choose from. Mr. J is writing a new book or as he called it “an Amish blog”. It will probably have more unread pages than crack dealer’s beeper during the 80’s.


“Amphigory Almanac” ranked #38 on AMAZON’S TOP SELLER HUMOR BOOKS LIST July 17,2010 & Mr.J (brandon diddy jones) is nominated as BEST BREAKTRHOUGH AUTHOR 2011 by INDIEPRINT PRESS, INC For more information or to contact the author

Amazon A-list Award Achieving Author, Mr.J is nominated by Indiepress Inc. as BEST BREAKTRHOUGH AUTHOR 2011.

-Muse Monthly Magazine

Mr.J’s new book entitled AMPHIGORY ALMANAC is splendid, superb, and smart.

-Travel Trade Tribune

Mr.J commands the english language with terrific the power of Zeus that resonates from the surface of the page to the deepest crevice of the reader’s imagination.

-Word-Nerd World Weekly

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC display’s Mr.J’s elogence and eloquence are subtle yet celebrated in this peice of paperback perfection.

-Elite English E-zine

Imagine if Mark Twain and Mitch Hedberg had a love-child of literature it would be named Amphigory Almanac.

-Quiet Quip Quarterly

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC’s relentlessly razor sharp and remarkably rapid fire humor create the sparks that could set the entire sky on fire with wickedly wonderful wordplay.

-Geek Speak Gazzette

Make sure you have a dental plan before cracking open AMPHIGORY ALMANAC’S covers because it will be jaw dropping.

-Papercut Press Publishing

In the 19th century of fiction there was Lewis Carol, in the 20th century of fiction there was hemmingway, and now as readers embark the 21st century of fiction we fasten our eyes in awe to the newly named sultan of sonnets, the prince of prose, the wizard of wordsmiths: Mr. J.

-Novelist Newbie Network

What Edison was to electricity, what Marconi was to sound, and what terrible sitcoms was to Sherwood Shwartz is equivalent to what Mr.J is to comedic commantary.

-Bookworm Brodcasting Bros.

If boredom was a disease Mr.J’s homerun hitting humor book AMPHIGORY ALMANAC would be the cure like insulin of intrigue to the diabetes of dullness.

-Rainy Reality Review


Mr.J Red River Radio Author Interview

Outskirts Press, Inc. has published it’s highly anticipated release of humor, AMPHIGORY ALMANAC: Hebetudinous Humour, Pedantic Prose, & Linguistic Levity: Meet Mr. J by Brandon Craig Jones.

The author’s most recent book to date is a 5.5 x 8.5 paperback in the literary collections and humor category and is available worldwide on book retailer websites such as Amazon and Barnes & Noble. The webpage at was launched simultaneously with the book’s publication.

Meet Mr. J encompasses a myriad of assorted amphigories ranging from plays on Ben Franklin, lists of one-liners, short stories, teleplays on ‘bromance,’ pontificated, postulated, and populated prose preponderantly by parading precipitous, pretentious, pompous, polysyllabic pedantry.

Finally a voice for an unspoken generation speaks with acerbic wit and ear tickling vernacular that rings true. Parenthetically, 236 typos (i.e. errors of grammar, syntax, semantics, linguistics, etc) have been intentionally left, not to exasperate a maladroit writing skill, but to accent how frivolous and moot rules can be in creative writing. It’s a “Where’s Waldo” of Errors making it interactive for the grammar gurus’ scrutiny.

Sometimes the stream of consciousness may seem scatterbrained and unfocused, but this was not done adventitiously. Each word was diligently and rigorously labored over. The steadfast and unwavering pace of self deprecating and self disparaging levity reminds the reader that the mission of the book is to be jocular and jovial at its own faults, follies, and foibles.

Debuting author, Brandon C. Jones, hits the scene with his complete collection of work. Each chapter is autonomous and non-interdependent on the others. It’s the kind of treatise that can be read in several different settings without losing momentum. Tone, word choice and style fluctuate, but motifs of a throwback to archetypal Woody Allen’s erudite absurdity act as the midwife to the birth of a refreshing style of American literature.

139 pages in length, Amphigory Almanac: Hebetudinous Humour, Pedantic Prose, & Linguistic Levity: Meet Mr. J is being aggressively promoted to appropriate markets with a focus on the literary collections and essays category. With U.S. wholesale distribution through Ingram and Baker & Taylor, and pervasive online availability through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and elsewhere, Amphigory Almanac: Hebetudinous Humour, Pedantic Prose, & Linguistic Levity meets consumer demand through both retail and library markets.

Additionally, Amphigory Almanac: Hebetudinous Humour, Pedantic Prose, & Linguistic Levity can be ordered by retailers or wholesalers for the maximum trade discount price set by the author in quantities of ten or more from the Outskirts Press Direct bookstore at

  • ISBN: 1432760076

For more information or to contact the author, visit


Brandon Jones majored in English and Communications at Old Dominion University. He’s performed standup comedy at HA! Comedy Club in NYC. He’s written for radio, TV, and the stage. Mr. Jones has also been published in copious periodicals including News Blaze, TCC Times, VA Pilot, Mace and Crown, Daily Comedy, and Punch Line Magazine.


Favorite Quotations EXCERPT FROM PAGES OF THE NEW BOOK: Last Tuesday Mr.J was struck on the skull with his own shovel. Exactly one week later on his deathbed he confesses to his best friend, “I’ve been lying, cheating, and stealing behind your back.” His best friend replies, “I know, that’s why last week I borrowed your shovel.”


It is not often that Old Dominion students find
…themselves swathed in literary fame. Old Dominion
alumni find their names listed in booksellers,
but it is a huge feat when a current student
achieves the status of having his/her book sold
either online or in bookstores (self-publishing
on blogs and writing sites do not count). Meet
Brandon C. Jones. He wrote “Amphigory Almanac:
Hebetudinous Humour, Pedantic Prose,& Linguistic Levity: Meet Mr. J” (might need adictionary for the title alone), is a student, andquite full of wit and comedic charm.Jones got his start being a stand-up comedian
at age 17 at Ha! Comedy Club NYC.

“Incidentally,I started by writing jokes and they were
hebetudinous humor drenched in maladroit mediocrity.
Subsequently, I became a preponderantly
prolific penman. Parenthetically, some jokes
from the stage made it to the page.” Such humor
exists in jokes like: “I graduated class president,
prom king, valedictorian . . . Man, I miss home
school. Sure every time I look in the mirror it’s
a class reunion, snow days are never canceled,
but when your body is the student body there’s
no need for roll call at Brandon Jones Academy.”
For a good synopsis of the book, the best bet is
to read it. Jones said about his book, “My book is
confusing at best. Understanding some chapters
is like trying to solve the Rubik’s Cube . . . color
blind . . . Essentially it’s either a real book by
a fake author or a fake book by a real author.”

Whichever one it is, it is definitely worth checking
out, despite Jones’ claim that readers want
“an immediate refund and apology” after reading
his book.

It was not an easy process, writing a book.
Jones juggled school and writing, and putting
both factors together did not equate perfect results.
There were times that he “almost gave
up and folded under pressure like origami,” but
many great authors take detours before arriving
at the end of their journey. For his first book,
Jones “trott[ed] the uncharted blue marble spinning
in the abyss of star sprinkled doubt orbiting
the galaxy of inevitable failure, frustration,
and disappointment. I had no Rosetta stone, no
compass, no archetypal template or formula to
guide me. I was lost but kept moving forward
at a steadfast and unwavering pace. I was like
Lewis or Clark exploring the ragged edges of the

However, Jones did get come inspiration from
his ODU professors, one of them being Dr. Joy, a
Communications professor. “After acing the final
exam in her class, I knew I could use sophistry
to manipulate some automaton to publish my
book even though reading it will you put you to
sleep faster than a narcoleptic counting sheep on
20 mg of Ambien.” He made an articulate literary
shout out to the great American novelist,
F. Scott Fitzgerald. “I pay a copious homage to
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s brilliantly infested passages
gleaming like the crimson bloom of the rose colored
sun radiating with a subtle elegance yet a
celebrated eloquence.” Also to Woody Allen. “I
also like amalgamating erudition and absurdity
like a nerdy Samuel Becket aka Woody Allen
pre-Annie Hall.”

Jones did offer some good advice for aspiring
authors. “Think outside of the box and the books.
Be the first to write a “Where’s Waldo?” book
with flat brail that can only be read while using
oven mittens. Or a book called “Ventriloquism
for Dummies”, I can’t believe no one’s done that
double entendre yet.” He also remarks on publishing
in the era of e-books and instantaneous
reading. “Oh and don’t publish on paper. It’s an
iPod era and hardcovers are pre-Marconi phonographs.

Printed paper publishing is so outdated it
makes Alexander Graham Bell’s first prototype
look like the unreleased iPhone.”
Jones is already starting on a new book.
“I’m making a yearbook because I never had one
in home school. I’m still not sure if I want the
last chapter to say, “Have a great summer, KIT”,
it’s just so predictable. Maybe I’ll think of a twist
ending while picking up some Windex for my
class reunion.”

Asked about what he sees himself doing in ten
years, Jones said, “Writing . . . on a cardboard
sign, “Will check grammar for food.” Or I’ll be
consumed with intrinsic elation while working on
my 3rd novel.” Let’s hope it’s the former. Who
knows, he may write the next bestseller including
pop-ups, braille, and those little soundbite chips
found inside greeting cards. In the meantime,
pick up “Amphigory Almanac: Hebetudinous
Humour, Pedantic Prose, & Linguistic Levity:
Meet Mr. J”. It’s available online at Amazon,Barnes & Noble, and the Dominion Bookstore.


Meet Mr.J

My 2nd Published Book

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